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Best Of’s: Rick Ross Killed Three Palm Trees Day

By on February 10, 2014

A year ago Rapper and head honcho Rick Ross was partaaaaaaaying in Fort Lauderdale with his rumoured girlfriend Shateria Morange-el. They partaaaaaayed hard, when leaving Shateria must shateirad her panties as a gunman opened fire at them, and sprayed their 2011 Rolls Royce with bullets. The front of the restaurant that they were both eating in was also hit. The two were celebrating Ross’s 37th birthday and partying with P Diddy at the resturant.Rick Ross (William Roberts) was shot at by a gunman in a vehicle on Las Olas Boulevard, Ross dodges bullets exceedingly well it seems, the driver putting his foot on the gas and managed to lose the 15 bullets, however the Rolls Royce did spin out of control and crashed into an apartment complex, sadly three beautiful palm trees did get run over.

Two of the trees died at the same time at 5:15am in the morning of February 10th 2013, the third tree was was in a coma for 7 hours, then miraculously awoke only to feel her two friends were dead in the air, making her slip back into a coma and then to die.

The Three Queens (above) killed this morning

The palm trees were small though of 57 years old and all female, allegedly were close friends with John Lennon and Freddie Mercury. Lennon often used to sing to the trees while in a inspired and hypnotic trance, while watching the Floridian breeze play with their hair.

Freddie Mercury has been rumoured to of been dry humping the trees at different stages in the early 80’s, after being asked about this in 1981 after leaving studio 54  he quoted “god is a female, god is a tree, therefore am I Gay?” The three trees were famous for their synchronized dancing in the wind, many locals and Vietnam veterans are sad to see what they call “The Three Queens” die.

Today an archway of trees all along Las Olas Boulevard palm trees bow their heads in mourning as far as the eye can see, as the trees remembering The Three Queens on this special day.

Detectives are still a year later urging anyone with information regarding this shooting, and what lead up to the killing of these trees to contact FLPD’s Violent Crimes at 954-828-5546.









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  1. Amanda Smooth

    January 29, 2013 at 6:54 pm

    Poor three queens!

  2. Sick Dick

    March 9, 2014 at 2:29 am

    This shit is genius. Though you guys need to sort your shit out, wheres your Twitter and Facebook page?

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