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Goldwoody Best Of’s: Tenacious D Interview

By on February 7, 2015
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Max D Heston (MDH): How’s things,  guys?

Jack: Very well. How you  doing?

MDH: I’m OK, a little emotional. Woman  problems.

Jack: Oh, sorry to hear  it!

MDH: She left me! She left me, Jack! Though that’s  not why I’m calling.

Kyle: Wait, what happened? Max had  a breakup?

MDH: Yes. Anyways, the new  album?

Kyle: It was a labor of love! A lot of love. It  wasn’t easy! Was it like raising child? Not really.

MDH:  What’s your favorite track on the album?

Jack: I like to  listen to “Senorita,” but now I like playing “Rise Of The Fenix,” and I really  like playing, uh, what’s that called… “Cage,” about the  spaceship?

Kyle: “Deth  Starr”!

MDH: Great song! So what were you guys on? Just  high spirits or high-grade marijuana?

Jack: No we were  pretty clean and slooowber! Kyle: Just, like, a  little crystal meth once in a while.

MDH: You two are  like Lennon and McCartney. How do you get by without wanting to tear each  other’s heads off?

Kyle: Well, we don’t spend any more  time together than we have to.

Jack: I think I’m the  McCartney! I wish I was the Lennon, though I think I’m more of the  McCartney.

MDH: Really, Jack? You think you’re  McCartney?

Jack: Yeah!

MDH:  That’s one hell of a statement. But I mean you guys are definitely bigger than  Arcade Fire now.

Jack: I don’t know. I’m not sure. I  haven’t been really keeping an eye on their size. [Laughs] are they  huuuuge? M

DH: They’re big in that annoying way, I hear.  You know in that way where all bands try and be  U2?

Jack: I don’t know. Is that the word on the street  that the Arcade Fire are all U2’d out?

MDH: So I hear.  Though, please, for the love of God, do not try and be U2. Don’t use loads  reverb on your guitars!

Kyle:  [Laughs]

Jack: All right. I don’t know, though, man,  that stuff they did with their guitars!

MDH: What’s your  least favorite chord?

Jack:  Quote?

MDH: Sure, quote.

Jack:  Wait a minute, what was the first one?

MDH: All right, I  said chord.

Jack: On the guitar! I don’t know. I love  them all. Do you have a least favorite chord,  Kyle?

Kyle: Hmm. No, I like them  all!

Jack: That’s a crazy  question!

MDH: I know. I mean, I hate e-minors, not  because they remind me of emotional times or Coldplay, it’s  just…

Jack: I love e-minors. E-minors are so deep and  dark!

MDH: Well, that’s where me and you are different,  Jack! Well, what’s your…

Jack: Oh, no, no, no!  Let’s talk about this. E-minor is one of the most evil of all chords. When you  strum it, you can’t help but to throw the devils horns up, you know what I mean?

MDH: OK, well, maybe. I think I will have to get into the whole  e-minor thing again. Do you have any crazy touring  stories?

Kyle: In Australia we went to the zoo! It was  raining, though pretty fun! Saw a lot of the animals and such. There was that  time where the mother and daughter followed us back to the hotel in Kansas City.  They wanted to feed the beast, though I was  flattered.

Jack: They didn’t get in, though. I don’t  think that counts as a wild story. There’s no happy ending. Not that that would  have been a happy ending. It would have been a fucked up  ending.

MDH: Let’s talk about your lovely figures.  You’re the First Guys of this. I mean the half-man, half-teddy bear thing. Some  women love this. Do you like your size, and is it good for  business?

Kyle: Well, we’re on a never-ending quest to  slim down. It’s just very difficult for us. We’re,  umm…

Jack: We’re hungry!

Kyle:  Yeah, very hungry!

MDH: Well, you have kicked off a  trend. Have you ever tried maple syrup on KFC?

Jack: No,  that sounds like a good combo, though! Do they do that, maple syrup at the  KFC?

MDH: No, you have to add it on  yourself.

Kyle: I have had chicken and  waffles.

Jack: They should make that at KFC, a chicken  sandwich with maple poured on top.

Kyle: There’s that  new sandwich where the buns are chicken at KFC.

MDH:  Yeah, haven’t tried that. They’re really going for it. What’s your favorite dish  these days?

Kyle: I like  Popsicles!

Jack: I like a fuck-you  sandwich!

MDH: One of my favorite tracks on the album is  “Deth Starr.” What was the meaning behind it?

Kyle: The  lyrics are concerning the ship.

Jack: No, we have to  build the “Deth Starr.” I mean, we have to recycle all of this stuff,  we have to be careful of our carbon admissions, though we also definitely have  to start building a station for rich people because you know this place is going  up in flames. You know us rich people have to get out of here safe and sound.  And it’s not going to be that bad. In some ways it’s going to be a lot better  than Earth. You know there’s going to a lot of sex. Did you ever see Dr.  Strangelove?

MDH: Of  course.

Jack: Yeah, it’s like a bunker. There’s going to  be a lot of people down there to keep the human race  continuing.

MDH: A lot of wiggling  around?

Jack: We have planned it out. We got a whole  layout drawn of what the different rooms are in the “Deth Starr.” That will  be the poster that is available if you want to check it  out.

MDH: Kenny Hotz from Kenny vs. Spenny sent  me a question to ask you guys: “How did you pull off the baby poo in the baby birth online? It was a monumental achievement in overcoming censorship. Solid  platinum!”

Jack: I don’t think I saw  that.

Kyle: It’s on the  masterworks.

Jack: Oh, yeah, that.  Right!

Kyle: What did we use for  that?

Jack: There was some delicious chocolate pudding,  we mixed in some peanuts in there.

MDH: How does one  make a man feel like a better man?

Kyle: Take  Viagra!

Jack: Just listen to that song by Pearl Jam, “Can’t Find A Better Man” [starts singing]. Sing that a few times, and  you’ll feel like a better man.

MDH: Or your new album,  even — it’s great.

Jack: Thanks, man! And, listen,  there’s a lot of other fish in the sea.

MDH: What girls  should we go for?

Jack: Go where the love is; don’t go  for girls that are not into you. The search is the joy, the joy is in the  search.

MDH: So true. Are redheads  good?

Jack: You know, you just got to think of the  progression of the human species! Who do I really want to get with and, uh, make  babies with!

MDH: Any word,  Kyle?

Jack: Come on, Kyle. He’s going through a horrible  breakup!

Kyle: She left him! Yeah! Well, don’t be too  hard on yourself. Take your time and go online and find another! Don’t be too  hard on yourself, though do be hard on yourself if you know what I mean.

 

 

 

 

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3 Comments

  1. Marvin The Man

    November 4, 2012 at 9:13 pm

    This is awesome! Jack is a teddybear lol!

  2. Anonymous

    November 6, 2012 at 4:07 am

    Great interview! Keep em comin

  3. Simon says

    January 25, 2013 at 1:22 am

    sick!

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